I’ve gone rogue

I recently had an opportunity I could not pass up. I’ll be out of the house for about 3 weeks. I tried to FaceTime with grandma earlier but she’s still a busy woman . I’ll try again tomorrow. Grandma always reassured me it was ok to leave home. In one of my previous blogs I talked about when I first left for Haskell. Home will always be there. I can’t wait to tell her about my road trip so far. I’m lonesome for her. This is the farthest I’ve ever been away from her. But on a positive note I’ll have some good stories for her when I get back.

I haven’t told her where I’m at yet. But I made sure to at least say good bye Friday before I left. She was the beauty shop getting her weekly perm. Lol she’s had that perm for as long as I can remember. It’s funny because when my cousin was little he remembered her as, “grandma with the curly hair”. She used to have this big ole hair dryer, like something from the 80s it seemed like. When she couldn’t make the beauty shop, she would curl her hair and sit under that dryer. It was a trip to wake up to sometimes haha. Another time I had my nephew with me. We went to pick grandma up from the beauty shop. We walked in and seen grandma sitting under the dryer. Boy his eyes got big! He said “auntie was are those?!”, talking about grandmas curlers. I couldn’t quit laughing. He didn’t know what to think of those, let alone her sitting under the dryer. He walked over to her just confused but curious. It made for a good laugh after that I treated them to their favorite spot lol Braum’s.

It’s crazy to see the generations. I look at my grandma and think about if it wasn’t for her, we wouldn’t be here. Grandmothers are beautiful for many reasons. Their prayers are the reason we’re still here. I’ve always heard grandmothers are angels without angels. I can’t wait to FaceTime her tomorrow. It’s been a journey and I apologize for going rogue. I won’t give up this blog but I have taken a slight detour.

I’m going for a walk….


I have recently signed a team up for The Walk To End Alzheimer’s. This is an open invite to my fellow followers and readers to come join me! I have set a team goal of $1,000. Any donation is appreciated but mostly I would love the company at this walk. I have attached the link but also on my menu page you can go straight to the site for Team Hokte!


Other than that we had a wonderful day. It’s always good to keep grandma company and keep her busy. Tomorrow she has her senior lunch at the center. She might not always remember everyone’s name but everyone knows her’s. She gets upset with herself when she can’t remember. I told her, “Grandma in your 87 years, you’ve met so many people I wouldn’t expect you to remember everyone.” She laughs and carries on. A habit she has these days is loosing her “ears” (lol) her hearing aids. So when I get to her house in the morning I have to go through my checklist.

Did you take your medicine?

Where are your ears?

Do you know where your teeth are?

It sometimes funny but seems like everyday she’ll forget one of those things It can get tiring trying to find these items. She doesn’t mean to lose them so I don’t get onto her. The hardest struggle she’s having right now, is that she still thinks she can cook. I usually leave the house when my mother gets home. Today I waited and watched what grandma was trying to cook. I keep telling her she’s going to get me in trouble. She’s not suppose to cook. So the final rules are, I’ll have to unplug everything. That’s a hard concept but it needs to be done. She use to love cooking. Shoot growing up I thought she was the best cook, (of course lol).

Another habit I’m not sure if I’ve mentioned, she always wants to go to Walmart. The bank and Walmart are the two places she’ll ask you everyday to go to. So today when she was asking to go to Walmart, I told her to make a list. So she said ok and continued about her day. About an hour later she asked me to go to Walmart, I said ok, make a list. This went on a few times today.

After starting this blog I have learned a lot about dementia and Alzheimer’s. My grandmother is my world so I’m happy I’m here, for better or for worse. I have attached another blog that I started following. This article has helped in a different way. It is worth the read if you have the time!


It was a good day, and that’s all I have to say about that.

Hokte and Aunt Sis


My grandma is the oldest of 7 kids. I adore my great aunt and uncles. I remember running around Creek country with most of them. Today I took grandma and her baby sister out to eat. My aunt sis, to be honest I never knew her real name for the longest time. Seems like once you get a nickname, it sticks. Hokte is my grandmother’s nickname that her siblings and cousins have call her for years. So when trying to create the name for my blog, Memoirs with Hokte came to mind.

Grandma and I wanted to get out of the house today. I asked her what she wanted to do, she told me ” I want to see my sister”. I said “yes ma’am”. At lunch today we caught up on the latest gossip which wasn’t much because at their age now they don’t remember what is what. It made for a good laugh though. Dang grandma might not always be there in her mind but as soon as I say, “Hey grandma, guess what??” Boy she pops up, “What?!” I usually never have anything to tell her so it makes for a good laugh as well.

It’s never easy watching your loved ones age. I’m always thankful that I’m still able to take my grandma and great aunt out once in awhile. Oh I forgot to mention how ornery those two can be! I tell you what they can shame me out sometimes lmao. It’s all in good fun. I’ve been watching my grandmother these past few weeks. These articles are not as easy to read or accept. Mind you my grandmother has had dementia probably longer than when the doctors first diagnosed her. Her mobility is not the same. It takes her a little longer to get off the couch. It’s takes her a little longer to get up the stairs, etc etc etc. I have a link that connects with some of the symptoms she’s having. I’m not saying she’s too this point yet. It’s just somethings I have noticed and that you might notice as well in a loved one.

https://www.dementiacarecentral.com/aboutdementia/facts/stages/ this article goes into links of the stages of dementia. I’ll never be prepared for the day my grandma forgets my name. I pray we never have to put her in a home as well. I can not predict the future. I’ve had many people tell me that one day she will forget my name. She will forget who I am. For now she still brightens up when I walk in the house. Always remember to tell your loved ones that you love them. Everyday is becoming harder to walk out the house and telling her goodbye. She’s always in a cheerful mood when I leave. You never know what day could be their last. So I encourage you to take the time to spend with your loved ones. I thought pushing myself away could fill the void. Instead I rather be here for the rest of her days.

This following article I have attached is another blog that is called “Dealing with Dementia” https://dealingwithdementia.wordpress.com . I started following this blog to help me and what is going on in my life. I know I’m not much help myself but this blog is a good asset to have. I highly encourage you to give it a follow.

I’ll always try to end on a positive note. It was a fun day with grandma today. Another day in the books. Some days I feel like this blog is my saving grace. It might not be much to you but it means a lot to me.

Cooking with Grandma

Today I was watching the evening news. Of course every news station was covering the mass shootings that had just recently happened. Everyday is a new day for grandma so when watching the evening news she was shocked. I guess that’s the best word describe how she felt. She asked me where it happened and what happened. I finally got sick to my stomach from this one story that stuck out. A woman was with her mother. Her mother was 91 years old. She had to help her mother under the table to hide her from the shooter. She had a video that made it on the evening news. The whole situation from this weekend of the mass shootings can make anyone sick to their stomach. The hardest is part is realizing it was a regular day for those people. We’re never promised tomorrow but I put myself in their shoes. I would do anything for my grandma. I didn’t mean to get off subject but just in general praying for those affected.

After hearing that story I changed the channel and went on about our business. Grandma thinks she can still cook, even though there’s signs in the kitchen telling her not to cook. There’s signs my family has put up to remind grandma of things she can and can not do. She’s a bit of a rebel I suppose cause today she was determined to cook. So for the first time in a long time I stayed with her in the kitchen. Growing up she always taught me how to bake and little things here and there. She made sure I knew how to get by before I left the nest many moons ago. I always cherish those times growing up. Especially when it came to baking the cake! Everyone loves to lick the spoon haha. We mostly hung out at the house today and got little things done around the house. She does pretty good when you keep her busy and as per usual she took her afternoon nap.

Just thinking about a lot today. I didn’t mean to take a two day break but life happens. I haven’t found what I’m looking for writing this blog, if I’m even looking for anything. Just a lot going on in the world and for those suffering tonight I pray for you. My grandma is a member of the Muscogee (Creek) Nation and growing up I always heard this hymns. https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=WIwkzUZUMIk&feature=youtu.be I hope you can find some peace with it as well.

Remember, self care

Grandma and I had a wonderful day! We went to BINGO l, didn’t win but that’s alright she had a wonderful time.

I’ve been feeling defeated about my blog already. But I made a promise to myself to write everyday so I am.

Sometimes as a care giver you can feel defeated as well. So I’ve attached a link to help care givers. Because it can be hard but as I keep saying remember, you’re not alone. https://www.helpguide.org/articles/alzheimers-dementia-aging/tips-for-alzheimers-caregivers.htm

Here is another helpful article with tips for care takers as well https://www.crisisprevention.com/Blog/August-2017/6-Easy-Caregiving-Tips-When-Dealing-With-Dementia

I’ll keep it short and sweet tonight. I’m praying for you that have recently lost your grandmothers as well. You’ll be in my thoughts.