I Cry Sometimes About It….. (Memoirs w/ Hokte )


Today is a day, to give thanks. Today is a day to be happy.

It’s a beautiful thing, to be Indigenous.

I hope you gave thanks for you grandmother today. I sure am happy to see mine. Over the night I had time to think and pray. I thought about how beautiful our grandmothers are. If it wasn’t for them, we wouldn’t be here. Remember our grandmothers prayers are still protecting us.

So it was a good day today when I seen my grandma pull up. She greeted my older cousin and I. I can’t express enough what it felt like to have her in our grandpa’s homelands again. She used to go with him all the time to Red Rock. That’s where our tribal headquarters are. She’s not even Otoe but you would think she was back in the day. (Lol)

My grandmother was always good to my grandpa, and vise versa. I’m thankful they were able to put a roof over our heads growing up. Now this post isn’t to take away from our mothers but once again… Our mother’s wouldn’t be here if it wasn’t for our grandmothers.

When my grandmother showed up today to be with us. I cried, I cried hard….

Why? Because I was grateful to have that one memory once again of her being in Red Rock. My oldest cousin, or as we see it, my big brother prayed over my grandmother. It was good to see her in that tipi. I cried more when I realized, that’s probably the only time I’ll ever been in that tipi with my grandmother.

I took a lot in these past 24 hours and although I got sad today,, it was a good day. I cried like a I said because one day she isn’t going to be here. So it feels good to have her in my grandpas homelands to see her grandkids.

I can see though…. In her eyes. Sometimes she’ll have a blank look on her face or she looks lost sometimes. I understand her spirit is wondering… Soon she’ll be with my grandpa again but until then, today I give thanks…

Published by JustJess

My name is Jessica Arkeketa. I am a member of the Otoe-Missouria Tribe of Oklahoma. I currently reside in Sand Springs, Oklahoma. I’ve always had a passion for writing but never made an effort to make my writing public. Also this is a helpful resource to help me cope with my aging grandmother.

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