She’s too sweet to be mean ( Memoirs w/ Hokte )


My grandmother has lived in the same house for over 50 years. It has changed over the years, inside and out. Even through all its changes, its still home. Grandma’s probably had the same house number for that many years too (lol).

Anyways my friends and I would always laugh that grandma had more of a social life than we did. I always tagged along with grandma when I was younger. She was always on the go. We’d go eat lunch in Tulsa. Sometimes we’d drive down to Okmulgee for whatever reason. She was always going somewhere and doing something. These days she sometimes has the energy to get up and go, but you have to make sure to come back by mid afternoon. That’s usually when she takes her naps but she swears to it, that she doesn’t take naps. Haha but ever since I was little she always taken a nap around the same time.

She doesn’t get up and go like she used to but that comes with age as well. When people ask me how my grandma is doing all I can say is that she’s doing good, just getting older. Boy I tell you what, yesterday she was packed and ready to go. She was excited to hit the road. So that’s always nice to see the spark still in her. Everyday is different. She has had her sassy moments, which sometimes that can be hard. My grandmother doesn’t have a mean bone in her body. But I have had people warn me that with Alzheimer’s they can have the potential of getting mean. So far she’s just sassy and that’s alright. We can all be sassy sometimes.

After I thought about it I took the time to look into some articles. I thought to myself what would I do if grandma got mean?? I know she doesn’t mean it but I found this article on what to do when your loved one starts to become aggressive.

The Alzheimer’s Association also had a helpful page as well

I’m thankful my grandmother is not to this point. I’m also thankful for articles to help understand Alzheimer’s. My grandma is truly a blessing. I remember when I first found out she had dementia. I would talk with my close friends about it. They were the ones to warn me that she could get mean. One of my friends from up north gave me some advice I’ll never forget.

She said “Jess…. Remember those times when your grandmother gets mean, that’s not her spirit. Your grandmother’s spirit is getting ready for its journey home. Although you guys may not be ready for her to go, her spirit is preparing itself. So at the moments when she’s mean remember that’s not her.” She went on to tell me what to expect and also to remember to pray. She’s in the process of going home…

It’s a lot to process from any aspect… But I give thanks for another day my grandmother is here. Hopefully if anyone is dealing the aggressive stages they find some helpful resources from those articles.

Published by JustJess

My name is Jessica Arkeketa. I am a member of the Otoe-Missouria Tribe of Oklahoma. I currently reside in Sand Springs, Oklahoma. I’ve always had a passion for writing but never made an effort to make my writing public. Also this is a helpful resource to help me cope with my aging grandmother.

3 thoughts on “She’s too sweet to be mean ( Memoirs w/ Hokte )

  1. Thank you for sharing. This was written so well and gives others who have experienced this a memory of their loved one.


  2. Thank you for sharing. This was written so well and gives others who have experienced this a memory of their loved one. Keep on writing!


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